At the outset, I'd like to say that I'm a big fan of pronouns. Without them, journalists throughout the English-speaking world would have been forced to write ledes like this: "President Donald Trump, in an act that has Donald Trump's supporters baffled, fired chief strategist Steve Bannon today despite Donald Trump's prior statements that Steve Bannon was a 'good man.'"
The point is, we have a precedent for the proper use of pronouns, and for proper grammar in general. Which brings us once again to the ongoing and slightly priggish debate regarding the appalling condition of our nation's language. Some among us feel that others among us, particularly the Instagram-engaged youth of the country, are linguistically challenged to the point of being incomprehensible.
Yes, that does like a "Leave it to Beaver" episode I saw, what, about 50 years ago, where Ward's carotid artery almost popped because Wally and his friends were using words like "daddy-o" and the always deplorable "cool." Of course June, who was infinitely wise as well as infinitely well-groomed, calmed him down by mentioning, in her casual but persuasive Saturday Evening Post way, that Wally and his friends were just being youthful, and that he ought to lighten up a bit because his pipe had just set his tie on fire.
Nevertheless, it occurs to me that if we do have a cavalier attitude toward language, there might be some who are unclear about what constitutes proper grammar. So, since "Public Service Before Happy Hour" is our motto, I'd like to offer my first, and only, Pronoun Primer:
What, precisely, is a pronoun?
Pronouns are really, really small words like "I," "you," "she," and "it." They're easy to spell and can be great income generators. For instance, suppose I get paid by the word for writing an article like this, yet I'm paid the same for big words like "prolegomenon" as for tiny words like "he." Think about it. That's why I'm a big fan of pronouns.
Please give us an example of the proper use of pronouns.
Glad to. Suppose you are part of a team of police officers about to kick in the door of a suspected drug dealer. First you knock politely, then announce yourselves:
"Police!"
"Police?"
"Yes, it is we."
But that sounds….
Pretentious and dorky? Well, no one ever said proper grammar was pretty. In the sentence "Yes, it is we," the word "we" is a predicate pronoun, meaning ... well, it's a predicate pronoun. In this case the suspected drug dealer would have dissolved into fits of laughter, thereby making him easier to apprehend. So you see, proper grammar can also be a useful crime fighting tool.
Okay, let's say my name is Joe Toastabagel, and the phone rings and the guy on the other end asks for Joe Toastabagel. Would the proper response be, "It is I"?
No, the proper response would be, "I am quite happy with my current internet service provider, thank you." But regarding grammar, yes, the response should be, "It is I." If you want to sound pretentious and dorky.
So, you're saying that language is not and never has been static, and that its conventions come and go because it is the nature of the universe to constantly, inexorably, and blissfully evolve?
You'd have to ask June Cleaver about that.
###
The point is, we have a precedent for the proper use of pronouns, and for proper grammar in general. Which brings us once again to the ongoing and slightly priggish debate regarding the appalling condition of our nation's language. Some among us feel that others among us, particularly the Instagram-engaged youth of the country, are linguistically challenged to the point of being incomprehensible.
Yes, that does like a "Leave it to Beaver" episode I saw, what, about 50 years ago, where Ward's carotid artery almost popped because Wally and his friends were using words like "daddy-o" and the always deplorable "cool." Of course June, who was infinitely wise as well as infinitely well-groomed, calmed him down by mentioning, in her casual but persuasive Saturday Evening Post way, that Wally and his friends were just being youthful, and that he ought to lighten up a bit because his pipe had just set his tie on fire.
Nevertheless, it occurs to me that if we do have a cavalier attitude toward language, there might be some who are unclear about what constitutes proper grammar. So, since "Public Service Before Happy Hour" is our motto, I'd like to offer my first, and only, Pronoun Primer:
What, precisely, is a pronoun?
Pronouns are really, really small words like "I," "you," "she," and "it." They're easy to spell and can be great income generators. For instance, suppose I get paid by the word for writing an article like this, yet I'm paid the same for big words like "prolegomenon" as for tiny words like "he." Think about it. That's why I'm a big fan of pronouns.
Please give us an example of the proper use of pronouns.
Glad to. Suppose you are part of a team of police officers about to kick in the door of a suspected drug dealer. First you knock politely, then announce yourselves:
"Police!"
"Police?"
"Yes, it is we."
But that sounds….
Pretentious and dorky? Well, no one ever said proper grammar was pretty. In the sentence "Yes, it is we," the word "we" is a predicate pronoun, meaning ... well, it's a predicate pronoun. In this case the suspected drug dealer would have dissolved into fits of laughter, thereby making him easier to apprehend. So you see, proper grammar can also be a useful crime fighting tool.
Okay, let's say my name is Joe Toastabagel, and the phone rings and the guy on the other end asks for Joe Toastabagel. Would the proper response be, "It is I"?
No, the proper response would be, "I am quite happy with my current internet service provider, thank you." But regarding grammar, yes, the response should be, "It is I." If you want to sound pretentious and dorky.
So, you're saying that language is not and never has been static, and that its conventions come and go because it is the nature of the universe to constantly, inexorably, and blissfully evolve?
You'd have to ask June Cleaver about that.
###
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