Tuesday, October 10, 2017

President Nominates Harvey Weinstein as Secretary of State


USA [SIC] -- Today President Donald Trump announced that he has nominated embattled studio head Harvey Weinstein to fill the secretary of state cabinet position held by Rex Tillerson.

"Harvey's a good man, a good man," Trump said. "We're going to take care off him, I'm telling you. I have the best solutions."

When reminded that Tillerson was still, in fact, the secretary of state, Trump seemed surprised, remarking, "More Fake News, but we'll see, we'll see."

When further reminded that Weinstein had left his film production company due to allegations of serial sexual harassment from dozens of women over some 30 years, Trump replied, "I know, right? Harvey has great numbers, believe me, the best numbers."

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